Job Description

 

Summer Sailing Coach

 

A sailor must row when there is no wind, but a sailboat and a rowboat are inevitably very different. Sailboats have the right of way of crew boats in the water which creates a battleground or standoff when the two vessels are heading the same speed towards each other. Crew people have an ego and sailors like to have superiority so it can get messy and heated between the two rivals. 

 

When I tell people I sailed in high school, they often mistake it for rowing. This is a common misconception and both sailors and rowers get offended when the two get confused for one another. Rowers use a paddle or an oar to move a boat forward. Sailors rely on the wind and sail to move forward through the water. 

 

Now that the distinction is clear between sailing and rowing, I will go on to unravel three short stories from my experience as a summer sailing instructor. I volunteered to teach five to seven years old’s how to sail. My job was to take a group of seven or eight of them out on a sailboat by myself and teach them how to steer, adjust the sails, and learn the parts of the boat. Sounds simple. This job was anything but that. Kids are the most unpredictable beings on this planet, and I truly believe that. 

 

There are three main characters that these three stories will revolve around. I have chosen an alias for each to protect their identities. 

 

-       Wyatt

-       Phoenix 

-       Caden

 

*It is important to note that these key players range from five to seven years old. 

 

DISCLAIMER: I loved my job as a sailing coach and am still very fond of these three rascals. I am sharing these stories for entertainment purposes with no ill intention towards my former students.   

 

Wyatt 

 

-       Dropped the keys for our sailboat power chord into the bay twice 

-       Demanded being the first to hop in the boat every day 

-       Denied dropping the keys in the water despite having multiple witnesses 

 

After a few weeks at camp, the kids started to settle in and be more comfortable with each other and myself which may be a contributing factor as to why this instance occurred. It was a hot day in the middle of summer, and I was sailing around with my usual group of youngsters. Wyatt kept complaining of a bad smell. He kept saying, “Coach Sofia, Coach Sofia! What’s that smell? Don’t you smell it?” and to be honest, I didn’t smell anything. Kids are always chatting about something, so I didn’t think much of it. Fast forward to the end of the day and my co-worker and I were hosing down our sailboats when my coworker noticed an open chocolate protein bar sitting on the seat cushion of my boat. She picked it up to throw it away, and immediate panic and fear came over her face. Remember that smell only Wyatt smelled earlier in the day? I’ll let you use your imagination as to what that “chocolate bar” really was…

 

Phoenix

 

-       Not fully potty trained

-       Did not pass swim test despite it being a requirement to join the program

-       Refused to take off his spaghetti-stained life jacket 

Phoenix’s story is along the same lines as Wyatt’s so if you have a sensitive stomach, I suggest you stop reading now. Twice that same summer Phoenix shut down the pool at our yacht club. He relieved himself which spread hazardous materials into the water that contaminated the pool and required professionals to come in and fix the damage. Phoenix was not potty trained unbeknownst to any of the faculty. We quickly learned that Phoenix needed an assistant or companion when swimming or using the restroom urinals. 

 

Caden

 

-       Too young to be in the program, his mom signed him up illegally 

-       Cute and tiny 

-       Got away with a lot because he was so cute and tiny 

 

This story I will admit was completely my fault. It was an average day at the job. I was out on the water with my usual group of about seven kids. They liked to hang off the side of the boat and stick their little hands in the water to catch floating seaweed. Since Caden was so much smaller than the other kids, I would have him sit on my lap and I would grab his life jacket to ensure that he could collect seaweed without falling out of the boat. This particular day the kids were being extra rambunctious, and one kid kicked the tiller (what you use to steer the boat) out of my hand and I let go of Caden’s life jacket. I heard a tiny “blop” in the water. I look down and realize Caden is no longer sitting in my lap. Before he even realized he fell in the bay, I grabbed his lifejacket and hoisted him back into the boat. I pretended like it didn’t happen and quickly wrapped him in a towel. Because it happened so fast and none of the kids really noticed what happened Caden went back to singing songs and dancing around the boat per usual. But, yes, it’s true, a kid fell out of the boat on my watch. He came back to camp the next day with a smile on his face, so all is well that ends well. 

 

TAKEAWAYS

This job taught me a level of patience that I didn’t even know existed. No post-grad job will ever compare to the day-to-day mini-heart attacks that this experience gave me.